pause. notice. experience.

I’m inside my two-week notice period at my current job that I’ve held for nearly six years. I’m wooohoooo and eeeeeeek all at the same time. Counting down the days, yet savoring each one.

I’m also noticing a lot of internal observation about how I’m handling this transition. While I have one foot in the unknown adventure ahead, the rest of me is hanging back in familiar territory, reminiscing about all the good times and wearing rose-colored glasses, finding every excuse to categorize this new, exciting time as a scary place with just too much incalculable risk.

Lately, I’ve been unfairly comparing how I’m handling the situation to how I believe others would approach this time. Telling myself that it’s no big deal and that others would approach this unknown territory with more grace, more comfort, more confidence, and less anxiety, sleepless nights and what-ifs. I mean, isn’t this what I wanted? Yep. Haven’t I been praying for direction and that just right opportunity to come my way? Yep. And isn’t this the kind of opportunity worth moving my family, saying goodbye to friends and colleagues, and stepping out into a brave, new world where this particular girl has never gone before? Yep. And now … here it is, the opportunity of my life, checking all the boxes I wanted, and I’m greeting it with excitement, sure, but also a big ol’ heaping of fear.

So, I’m taking steps to learn to give myself a break and stop comparing my experience to other people and their response to situations I know nothing about. I am not those people. I’m me, responding the way I am responding, and that is okay. It’s more than okay. It’s exactly as it should be.

And by the way, those mixed emotions I’m feeling? Those are part of the human condition and completely natural. There is a wealth of experience to be had in good times, bad times and these awkward in-between times, and I don’t want to miss any of it sitting over here on the sidelines, awhirl in a flurry of thought.

Whatever “change” looks like now or down the road, I know that recognizing we’re afraid and calling fear by name rather than getting swept up in its powerful flow – well, that’s the first step toward weakening its chokehold on happiness.

So, starting right now, I choose to pause, notice and experience this day, this moment and this time of transition. And when I do look back on it from some future point in time, I hope I’ll see a younger version of myself who made a brave choice that led to fulfillment, growth and, yes, that sweetest emotion of all … happiness. Now that’s a very brave choice, indeed.